My allergy list has been extended by a full yard.  I am now allergic to all citrus!  This is not even remotely funny because I am allergic to a lot of things already, but one more?  Heavens, I’m allergic to bananas!  Do you know how weird and awkward that conversation is?

SCENE FROM MONTY PYTHON:

Dinner host hands ME a banana.

ME graciously shakes her hand and smilingly states, “No, thanks.”

Dinner host presses on, and points the banana up to ME again, suggesting that bananas are good for you, and they are so healthy, and by the way, did you get your five servings of fruit today?

ME hesitates, says ‘no’ one more time, and sighs, and then states, “Thanks, but I’m allergic to them.”

Dinner host looks at ME unbelievingly, as in between the look of “are you kidding?” or “is this a joke to get out of a eating a banana? – good heavens, it’s only a banana, why would you want to get out of it?”

ME squirms in her seat and says, “Yeah, it’s been a while, I’ve been allergic for quite a while now – I really do miss them.”

Dinner host sets the banana down, bewildered and tries to talk away with the least awkward expression possible.

ME squirms in her seat some more, and tries to glance around so she may suffer sudden amnesia, and forget the interaction she just has, all the while trying to not look longingly at the banana, should suddenly allergies may also flare up by the chance of mere sight.

The camera pans away from ME from the angle of the BANANA.

-end of scene

Now, let’s have that scene, but increase it 40 fold in my life, because those scenes are not blissfully awkward already.

Christ.

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