So it turns out I am a glutton for punishment….choosing someone I ordinarily wouldn’t, violating all my own rules. There is nothing good that can come out of this.  There is a reason why I avoided love for this long; my mother always said, a woman in love may be stupid.  Turns out I am that person, andn  turns out my intuition about this person was right.

Sometimes in life, even when you try your darnest, you still fail.  Perhaps this is Cassandra’s curse for being born female.

I don’t regret being born female.  But I do regret things that have happened to me because I am female.  The world is not enough, my friends.  Humanity doesn’t have much to show for itself.

I am not proud of anything.  I have gambled this long for this person and this love.  If I fall, I fall.  It is God’s will at that point. I have tried my best.

When Anne Boleyn was taken from the Tower of London to her death, she stated a very thorough and forgiving speech.  Here was a girl not yet thirty, who was governed by her father, the Catholic church, the country’s monarch, and ultimately killed by her husband.

Yet the whole world blames her, as though death before her people and professing her love for God were not enough.

Therefore the world is not enough.  For some, the count of witchcraft is a real offense, and the prejudice is real.

I have stated on my fb before that as long as you have true ownership of your soul, that is enough.  The men in my life have turned up short.  I think it is a shame to have so much privilege in life, especially if you are a white male, to be petty with the women in your life.  It is not a testimony of manhood or privilege.

I know that every night, as I put my head on my pillow, I have pulled my weight in life.  I have reconciled with my God, and He loves me very much.  That is all one can say in life.

Sincerely,
B

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